do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
