I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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