Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
don't judge my taste in strippers
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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