So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
