I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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