I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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