Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
