You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
