you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
