the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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