I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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