what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
