Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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