Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wannas sexs uuuuu
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
