Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do herpes really smell.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
