I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
