Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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