She announced her abortion via fbk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
