I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
