I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
