we have pet lesbian snakes
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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