This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
