How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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