Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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