I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
