farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am midnight drunk by noon
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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