He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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