So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
