I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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