maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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