First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
