Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He is an equal opportunity slut.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
