ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
