One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
