5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
