My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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