Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
