I can tuck mytits in my pants
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
