But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
