I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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