the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
