can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
