he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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