Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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