is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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