So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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