just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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