just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
