I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
