Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
