Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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