Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
