piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Acid is not a monday night drug
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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