so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
